Underneath the White Tent

Mood: Mediocre

Music: Okay Go - "What to Do"

Medicine: Clinical Foundations (practicing the full physical exam)

Today, a few family members of the people that donated their bodies to the anatomy lab came to class to talk with us about their experiences with having their loved ones donate. It was unique, because we had the opportunity to hear about who these people were in life. Turns out that in life they were extraordinary, giving, selfless people. Even in death, they wanted to somehow give. Aside from donating your organs (if you're young and healthy), I can't think of a single more fantastic act of kindness that you can do for another person after you pass on. Those people gave us the chance to explore anatomy, to understand it in great detail, to feel it, to live it. For that, both my classmates and I are deeply indebted. Seriously.

One of my classmates, Samantha Costantini, wrote an absolutely beautiful poem, which I feel compelled to share. It captures the experience of anatomy so eloquently. Hope you enjoy it, and are moved to laughter, respect, and awe as much as we all were through the experience.


(note: at the risk of diminishing the mysticism, I feel it may be important to note that the "white tent" represents the sheet that covers each cadaver, which rises up with each curve of the body)

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Underneath the White Tent

Underneath the white tent lies a land 

That I must explore and document 

This is a traditional world

Where respect still stands

And I pause before each journey

Thankful for the honor of exploration

Most countries here are identified

By beautifully colored maps

Though the hue of the land

Has changed greatly

Since Mr. Netter’s visit

I still squint over his account 

Of quests long ended

Here, my compass is reversed,

My right, the left of the land

But north always points 

To an ominously wrapped monarch

Who once ruled this kingdom

But has long since lost his crown

I have comrades with me on this quest

Timid at first

Now bold as the sciatic nerve

All with an impossible amount of knowledge

About this once foreign terrain

We stop along the way 

To pick for gold and sapphires 

Among the caves of adipose

A nerve here, a vessel there

What joy there is in successful mining!

Sometimes we even pound a chisel 

In the search 

For grey-matter butterflies

While it may not be as glamorous 

As wielding a net through a field

The results are just as mesmerizing

There lies a labyrinth in the middle 

It may look complicated 

But there’s only one way out 

And though I much prefer the entrance 

To the posterior exit

I have spent ample time in both

But this quiet countryside

Represents a more rhythmic one waiting

Though the risks will be much higher

And the explorations much more delicate

Though the rivers and streams

Will flow in my future patients

And the grey hillsides replaced 

By a vibrant red

Though the mountains and valleys 

Will be bathed in warmth

And the drum of the heart 

Will audibly announce my arrival 

As the tide of the lungs 

Rolls in and back out again 

Though my travels will take me

To these different, living lands

I won’t soon be forgetting my journey 

Underneath the white tent

-Samantha Costantini

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"Mediocre people do exceptional things all the time"


P.S. To clarify, my song quote is not referring to Sam. She is extraordinary :)

50 Questions & Da Vinci

Mood: Anxious
Music: Jack Johnson - "No Other Way"
Medicine: Neuroanatomy

Sometimes my mind gets jumbled and I can't seem to focus. It's rough when it's close to an exam. Sometimes (okay, maybe fairly often) I lose focus. Why do I continue to study when there are so many other wonderful things I could be doing? Motivation is tough sometimes. It's also difficult to remain "at peace" when there's a struggle between what I want to be doing and what I need to be doing at the moment.

A good friend of mine recently sent me a link to an article entitled "50 creative questions to create the life you really want." And I have to say, the questions are extremely useful. They're a bunch of open ended questions to get you psyched and motivated. Thank you good friend! I've reposted them below for your reading pleasure:

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What gives you “juice”? Where is the energy calling you? What if you gave yourself full permission to engage this? Going toward what gives you energy and meeting it fully is the first step to creating profound change.

What if you could take a risk? If you put your hands above you head and dove off the high board? If you didn’t second-guess yourself? If you were spontaneous?  What would you create if you couldn’t fail? Taking risks jolts us into the new and creates immediate change.

What would happen if you followed your gut? If you listened to your intuition rather than your mind? What would you create if you could think later and create now? Creating what we want doesn’t happen in the future—it happens today.

What if you could explore? If you used everything as a learning opportunity? What if you dared to discover? What if you let go of what you know? Creativity exists beyond what we know. Love the unknown and let the mystery unfold.

What if you focused on play and fun? If you didn’t worry about what people think or compared yourself to them? (Comparison is a killer of creativity.) What if you were like a child again? Create just for the sake of creating and the rest will organically unfold.

What if you went wild? Got crazy? Did something you would never do? Unleashed? What if you could be free? Hold a loving, safe container for yourself as you express and create what is innately inside you.

What if you gave yourself permission to be it ALL: The good, the bad and the ugly? What if you accepted all of “what is” because life includes it all? Avoiding what makes us uncomfortable makes us even more stuck. Many times it is the difficult and the “dark” that shows us the light.

What if you were fully present? What if you connected only to this moment of now? If you didn’t hold onto the past or reach for the future? If you didn’t worry about what could happen? All of creation is born in the now.

What if you were to stay determined? What if you didn’t give up? What if you took one step at a time? It’s in the follow through where creativity blooms.

What if you were disciplined? What if you showed up when you said you would? What if you scheduled time to do what you want to do? Marked it in you calendar? Didn’t avoid? What magic could happen? Gently approaching what we want to create each and every day is how we ultimately create change.

What if you allowed space and time? If you didn’t force the current or want everything to come the way you want it NOW? What if you were patient and accepting of life’s natural timing? What if you allowed space and time to allow the fruit of your creativity to ripen.

What if it didn’t matter if you failed or not? If the result was not nearly as important as the experience you have in the present? If you used everything as an opportunity to discover? Knowing who you are and what you want to create has nothing to do with success or failure.

What if you could be free? Free to be, express, and create however you are called in the moment? What if this simple act of freedom gave you your greatest happiness? Once a product is finished, it’s over. Even though it still carries the memory, it is no longer alive. We are only fully alive in the present.

What if you continued to ask open-ended questions such as these? If you didn’t search for answers or meaning or try to make sense of it all?  Asking open-ended questions gets you out of the box, relinquishes the attachment to product, and leads you to exciting new places.

We are innately creative beings whether we realize it or not. Change is a creative process. To create change, begin with meeting yourself within. What is it that you want to create in this moment? How will you dive in?

Here's the original article: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/50-creative-questions-to-create-the-life-you-really-want/
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You know what, after rereading that, and reflecting on my life, I have every reason to be happy with what I am doing. There's no reason for my anxiety. I'll continue to meet life with open ended questions, and not think too much about the what ifs and all that nonsense. I am here and I am now. Taking one step at a time. Asking questions to augment my creativity and fuel my passions. Not holding myself back. Allowing myself to grow.

Today, there was a surgery workshop at the hospital, where I had the opportunity to practice many different surgical techniques including laparoscopic surgery, suturing, and knot tying (yeah, this is an important technique to learn. And hard to do correctly. I had a tough time for some reason... Shh. Knots are hard to tie). But the most awesomest (like, more awesome than "awesomest" or "most awesome") was working with the Da Vinci robot. That's right. I got to play around with a million something dollar machine today. And it was FUN. I sat down in that chair and looked into the video screen, and suddenly I became a part of that robot. Nay. I was the Da Vinci robot. For three minutes. It was such a fantastic experience, I can't even begin to describe it to you. I spent most of the time playing around with the arms, rotating them this way and that way, readjusting the camera, zooming in, zooming out, grabbing thread and guiding it through holes less than a millimeter in length... so, so, so awesome. Most awesomest. About half way through the guy reminded me that the trial was timed and I was competing against everyone else to see how many holes I could guide the thread through. Whoops! I just got so lost in being the robot that I completely forgot about the world around me.

Okay, now I'm ready to get back to studying with my rekindled motivation. Thanks for reading!

Mood change by the end of this blog: Excited and Rejuvinated

"And know that if I knew all the answers I would not hold them from you"

*Addendum* But we really don't need to know all the answers, do we? Let's ask open ended questions and see where our lives take us.

The Art of Studying

Mood: Focused (shhh, I know I'm blogging. But it's break time.)
Music: Person L - "Canyonlands"
Medicine: Arm and Leg Anatomy

I've had a few people come up to me and ask me how to study successfully, both medical students and college students alike. Many times they say they lose focus. A friend of mine said that he sometimes daydreams while he's in the middle of reading something important, and won't remember what he read. Out of frustration, and a time crunch, he'll feel like he needs to move on, and doesn't retain the information. You may find yourself in a similar situation. Lucky for you, I've decided to create 8 easy steps for you to follow.

Now, I don't claim to be a master at studying, but I do try to follow these guidelines, and it certainly enhances my ability to study and retain information. Steps 1-5 are especially important during your studying, while steps 6-8 are mostly while you're not studying.  I  hope these steps will guide you to study more effectively!

1. Be patient
-Sometimes information doesn't stick in your head. Be patient. It will. You may be the kind of person that has to go over the material a few times before it sticks in your head. Just know yourself, and if it takes 3 passes to learn the material, then take 3 passes over the material.

EDIT on 6/13: A good strategy to employ when studying, especially for anatomy: when you do a chunk of material and move on, make sure you try to quiz yourself on the old material. For example, I was just studying the lacrimal gland, and moved on to the orbital bones. After learning the bones, I quizzed myself on the lacrimal gland section, just to see if I remembered it. Turns out there were a few parts I had forgotten, but by reviewing it then, I made sure to strengthen my recall.

2. Stay calm
-If you find yourself reading the same paragraph over and over at least 20 times, do NOT get frustrated! This will only make it harder to study! It's important to keep a positive attitude, take a deep breath, and learn it. When you stay calm and read something for entertainment because you enjoy it, you remember it much better. Call me a nerd, but this is how I study well for anatomy and physiology. I even had a Friday night in which I opened a bottle of wine, listened to music, and casually perused through some physiology. I'll tell you what, that night, in a race against time and ethanol, I had a great time. And to top it off, I woke up the next morning remembering everything I studied. But then again, I enjoy what I'm studying. If it's not something you enjoy, focus on staying calm. Don't pressure yourself.

3. Self control/Discipline
-Catch yourself when you see you're straying away from studying, and correct this behavior. The difficult part is recognizing when you are daydreaming or losing focus, and getting yourself back in check. I tend to lose focus a lot, but I constantly work on regaining my concentration. If you can't redirect your attention to studying after attempting to refocus a few times, you might want to consider step 4 (note: practice getting good at refocusing. This is the step most people need to practice. Myself included). Self control is infinitely important. You need to have the control to sit down and do your studying.

4. Reward yourself
-Having referenced this step already, you can see that I'm a big proponent of it. It's okay to take frequent breaks. But be careful not to reward yourself too soon! This goes hand in hand with self control. Tell yourself that you'll do a certain amount of work, and then take a break (but be careful to follow steps 1-3 intimately). If you are unable to practice self control (step 3's rough), you need to find something outside of yourself to keep you under control. What my study group and I have done several times (when we find that we're off track) is set a stop watch timer for ourself. We'll set the timer for about an hour, get a good solid hour of studying in, and after the timer is up, we'll take a break. Make sure you do the same; it's okay, you've earned it! But make sure you can control how long you spend rewarding yourself too; that can easily get out of control.

5. Planning
-For many people planning is absolutely essential. Make a schedule of what you're going to study and when, and do your best to stick with it. This will help you practice self control, because you've scheduled the time in for yourself. You no longer have to make time to study, all you have to do is follow your calendar. However, with that being said...

6. Dynamic fluidity
-Or in other words, go with the flow! Sometimes you don't get all the studying done that you've planned out to accomplish in a day. All I can say is 1. Be patient and 2. Stay calm. Those are the two most important rules to follow. If your day doesn't go the way you planned, it's okay! There are too many variables that can alter your schedule, and if they're out of your control, then why would you sweat it? Just augment your schedule, and make a new plan of action. Of course, if what is preventing you from studying IS in your control, do something to change it. And make sure the changes will lead you to a positive outcome (for example, don't sacrifice time spent with the ones you love for the sake of getting in more study hours. Or at least, don't make that the first thing you sacrifice to get study time in. You'll be unhappy, they'll be unhappy... yeah, no fun). Also, remember to set realistic goals for yourself, otherwise you may become easily frustrated.

7. Mind and Body
-People don't often make the connection, but mind and body are HUGELY related. When it comes to studying (and living a healthy lifestyle), you need to pay attention to how closely connected your mind and body are. Don't dismiss it as being trite and insignificant... this is seriously a big key to success that can amplify your study time!  I'll break it down into several parts.

A. Sleep
Sleep is extremely essential, and surprisingly many people don't realize this. How do you expect to focus when you're tired? I saw this a lot when I was an undergraduate; people staying up the night before the test and studying their asses off. But when it came time to take the test, they couldn't focus, and would invariably do poorly. As for me, I made sure to sleep well before each test. And look at me now; I'm in medical school! Even now, there are times when I'll take a nap (INSTEAD of study), and I'll wake up completely rejuvenated to tackle several more hours of studying. And those several hours are usually the most productive. Get your sleep! It's better to eliminate the random wasted minutes/hours throughout your day than to sacrifice minutes/hours of sleep. If you're sacrificing sleep, then you should have already maximized your daily studying.

B. Activity
- Activity is especially important to maintaining focus. Do things that challenge you physically or mentally. Go rock climbing. Go to the gym. Go surfing. Go running. Play a sport. Practice yoga. Take that palates class you've been wanting to try out. Do something. It doesn't have to be every day, but an hour every other day won't hurt you. You'll feel better. Along with exercising physically, make sure to maintain your mental exercises. Studying is important, but do another brain activity, something completely unrelated. Breathing exercises are good. Maybe focus on absolutely nothing and clear your mind. Meditate. That's a mental exercise within itself. Other activities, like cooking or playing an instrument are good, too. This goes along with taking a break; make sure to combine therapeutic activities with breaks.

C. Diet
Along with staying active physically and mentally, make sure you're eating a balanced diet of proteins, carbs, and fats. Yes, I said fats, too. You need fat. However, the problem is that in the american diet, the fats are usually animal fats and lard. Let's face it: those fats are not all that great for you. But there are some essential fats that you should incorporate into your diet, like omega-3's. My favorite way to get the fats I need are from fish and olive oil. Look up some recipes online and try making a couple. Might be a fun activity to do!

8. Enjoy life
-this goes along with rewarding yourself. Look around at the world around you, and take in all the beauty. Remember to smile. Make it a point to go out and enjoy yourself, and don't think about what you have to get done later. Worrying about something else while you're trying to have fun is NOT fun. Enjoy the moment! There will be time later to focus on what you need to accomplish. Yeah, you may call me a hippy or whatever for having this outlook on life, but it does make a difference.

I hope all of these simple guidelines help you, like they help me!

"I've been climbing to the tops of the mountains, back down to where I began... losing myself on the way... And I've been climbing to the bottom of the canyons, finding myself on the way."