Music: Death Cab For Cutie - "Steadier Footing"
Medicine: Laryngeal Physiology (ahhh research)
Randomly, I was perusing some of my previous writings, and stumbled into an interesting one (appropriately entitled 'Reflection') from 2006. Looks like I've often succumbed to being lost deep in thought... nothing seems to have changed in that respect. It's refreshing to know that even then, I was always striving to be a better person. Though back then, I think I was a little more self deprecating. I still am to a certain extent, but now, I've learned to appreciate the events that have transpired throughout my life. Both the good and the bad. They've shaped me into a stronger and better person. I have experienced the world (albeit to a relatively limited extent), I've laughed during the good times, and done my best to keep smiling through the rough times.
Reading this prior entry resurfaced some of the original feelings of despair and hopelessness that crippled me when I initially wrote it. I won't go into the details, but let's just say I was really questioning life. Much of my agony was from feeling lost without a direction. I doubted myself, and doubted who I could become. Amazing how much can change in 5 years. I'm becoming a doctor, a career path I would never have fathomed I'd be capable of chasing. Yet here I am, entering into my second year of medical school. I have accomplished much more than I would have ever dreamed only 5 years ago.
Nevertheless, rereading the post made me think.
Despite my accomplishments, despite my hard work, despite my determination, despite my whole-hearted approach to life, and despite my ability to overcome the difficulties that we all face from time to time... I still can't honestly say yes to all the things I want to on this list.
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So what if this were your last day alive.
Would you be happy and content with what you have done? Would you be able to say that you lived your life to the fullest? Could you say that you did everything you could? Did you go where you wanted to go? Did you learn everything you wanted to learn? Are you who you wanted to be?
Could you say you inspired those around you? Could you say you made an impact on the world around you? Did you make a difference to those who knew you? Would you be remembered as a good person? Would anyone care?
Could you honestly say that you loved someone with all your heart? Could you say that they loved you back?
Would you say that there is nothing you regret? If you had another chance, would you do it just the same? Would you have done things differently? Would you apologize to those you hurt? Would you forgive those who hurt you?
Can you say you did your best? Would you say you tried your hardest?
Can you look back on your life with a smile on your face?
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I guess life's still a work in progress.
"And this is the chance I never got to make a move, but we just talk about... the people we've met in the last five years, and will we remember them in ten more?"
