Of Dissections and Hope

Mood: Hopeful
Music: Owl City, "If My Heart Was a House"
Medicine: Back and Thorax Anatomy

Anatomy is AMAZING! I can't describe how unbelievable it is to experience anatomy. When we first encountered the cadavers, I admittedly felt a little bizarre about cutting into a human being. But as soon as we started opening him up, I was addicted. There's something inexplicably fulfilling linked to dissecting. You take pride in your work. Raja and I spent a lot of time working on the branches of the axillary artery, clearing away the deep tissue to trace the routes of each vessel. And when we had the chance to crack open the ribs to peer inside to the parietal cavity... it was like opening a gift on Christmas! Yeah, it's a poor analogy (I mean, this is a human's chest we're talking about), but seriously, it was! So the actual dissection is my favorite part. Though cutting and scraping away fat and tissue can be frustrating and requires a lot of patience, the results are very rewarding. That feeling of clarity when you can link something you're studying in a textbook to an actual structure in the body is phenomenal. True, the studying is intense... I have a lot of studying to catch up on this weekend! But it's soooo worth it in the end. I feel extremely privileged to have this chance to learn so much!

I love Owl City. Adam Young, the sole musician of Owl City, puts out amazing beats and lyrics that keep you humming them for weeks. When I first discovered the CD Ocean Eyes, I did exactly that. Recently, I picked the CD back up, and I'm once again hooked. Some of his songs are superficial, fun, and upbeat (like "Dental Care", which is, as the title suggests, entirely about taking care of your teeth and going to the dentist), but many others are incredibly introspective and thought-provoking. His lyrics are witty and well-written, certainly not chock-full of the typical regurgitated platitudes that you hear in 90% of songs out there on the radio waves.

Young uses fantastic imagery. You know the old adage, "A picture is worth a thousand words"? Young uses each word meticulously, painting a vivid picture for the listener, conveying abstract feelings and vibrant colors. For example, "Peer over the edge, can you see me? Rivulets flow from your eyes. Paint runs from your mouth like a waterfall, and your lungs crystallize... I'll travel the subzero tundra, I'll brave glaciers and frozen lakes. And that's just the tip of the iceberg, I'll do whatever it takes". Notice how he uses the expression "tip of the iceberg" in like... the most perfect way? He's great at using language that fits the situation (for example, an icy setting) and ties it in, to communicate a feeling (a willingness to do "whatever it takes"). He makes trite phrases and expressions his bitch, twisting them in a clever way to produce fresh and novel lyrics. Pure awesome. I wish I could write songs like that.

I have to throw out another lyric that makes my heart sing whenever I hear it: "I'll watch the night turn light blue, but it's not the same without you, because it takes two to whisper quietly. The silence isn't so bad, 'til I look at my hands and feel sad, 'cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly." Dammit. That lyric gets me every single time. To me, he paints the most flawless picture of yearning to have the one you love by your side.

Most of his songs have strong intonations of loneliness and need, yet a strong sense of hope. I can completely identify with that. My favorite song on the CD, "If Your Heart Was a House", speaks to me. Look up the lyrics, they express my thoughts verbatim. I feel incredibly lucky; I could hardly ask for more in my life. I'm working toward a career I love, spending time studying subjects I enjoy, and I have an extraordinarily promising future as a doctor. But still, I often find myself wishing I could share it with another person. Someone that you never stop thinking about. I feel forlorn that I don't have someone like that, and I long to find her. I'm a hopeless romantic... as much as a try to suppress it, I can't prevent those feelings from breaking through to the surface. But even though I sometimes feel down, I pick myself back up, with the hope that I will find that perfect person to adore, who will love me as much as I love her.

"Circle me, and the needle moves gracefully back and forth. If my heart was a compass, you'd be north."